Death in my Neighborhood.

I woke up this morning at 6:20 to a fire engine screaming by our house. This never happens.

A few seconds later the bedroom was filled with the blue lights of police cruisers. I stayed in bed. It was supposed to be my day off - my morning to sleep in.

When Debbie awoke to get the kids ready for school, the emergency vehicles were still there. It turns out a fifteen year-old girl in our neighborhood was hit by a bus. She was killed. The girl lived about six houses from us. I didn't know her or her parents. I think her dad helped me catch my dog once last year when he escaped. I run by their house often. I didn't even know her name. (It was April. The news reporter told me this morning.)

Today our normally quiet suburban neighborhood is filled with local TV satellite trucks and teenage mourners. It's rather surreal. It didn't seem right to have our kids ride the bus this morning. Deb took them to school. I think I will pick them up. That's an irrational response, but it is hard to know how to react after waking up to the reality of death. It changes your routine.

I'd like to do something for the family, but they seem completely harassed already by the press. I'd just be another stranger in their way today. If I had taken the time to become their friends over the last two years, maybe that wouldn't be the case.

Death is the enemy. I hate it. To the core.

Learn from my mistakes. Invite a neighbor into your life or church this Holy Week. There is, in my humble opinion, only one person who can make the dead alive again.

Local News story here.

Free* Breakthroughs

Last night my small group went to the Free* Journey prayer experience at Crossroads in Oakley. It will be running through Monday and I would suggest that you check it out if you live in Cincinnati.

The experience is simple but immersive. It didn't take long for me to become open to it. Actually, it was wonderful to do something "spiritual" that I had no personal involvement in planning or implementing. I can't remember the last time that happened. I needed it.

Today is the day I am supposed to be preparing for the weekend at Vineyard. I'm closing out the Free* series this weekend.

I thought it might be good for me to write about the three realizations that I wrote down last night during the prayer experience. I woke up this morning thinking that maybe I had some sort of breakthrough. (To be fair, I have felt that way before without breaking through anything.)

Here goes nothing:

1. I'm free to SPEAK UP. Though much of my professional life is spent communicating, I almost always opt to say as little as possible in any given situation. The less I speak, the less chance I have of sounding foolish or hurting someone's feelings or being misinterpreted. I learned this habit at a very early age, probably out of some series of painful moments that I cannot remember anymore. I am generally quiet. To be fair, I think this can virtuous at times...and given the choice, I would rather be known as the quiet guy vs. the loud guy. But I came to believe last night that I am truly free to speak up when I want. I don't have to be quiet. God made me with a voice and I should be prepared to use it.

Part of speaking up also has to do with the things I say in public - as a pastor, a blogger, an author and a filmmaker. I have learned through the years that it is almost always better to not speak about something in a public forum unless you have a defined point of view. I still agree with this as well, but I need to take a few more risks than I have been since re-entering vocational ministry. In my twenties I too often taught my opinions as fact. In my thirties I have generally not taught my personal opinions at all. Again, this also can be virtuous. But it can also be self-protective and sheepish. I'm going to edge the pendulum a notch or two toward saying important things I might normally be tempted to skip over in order to avoid conflict. I need to embrace the fact that I am a preacher. And preachers preach.

2. I'm free to DREAM AGAIN. This particular realization has to do specifically with dreaming about the impact of the local church. I was once a dreamer. I followed some huge God-dreams in my twenties. Some of them were realized, but most of them fell short. As a result, I learned to dream more "realistically." Since coming to The Vineyard I haven't really dreamed the way I used to. I have had passing moments of wonder. I have seen mini-visions realized, but if I used to dream like a fire hose, these days I dream more like a drippy faucet. I turned down the dream-o-meter because of the pain of my previous dreams being unrealized. I didn't need a shrink to figure that one out. It's pretty obvious.

I'm ready to dream again - to risk the pain for the greater reward. To be fully me again. I'm ready to be a part of a church that turns a city upside down. I'm ready to start praying the prayer I stopped praying around 2003 - that God would give me influence over my generation in my city. I am no longer settling for less.

3. I am free to be HEALTHY. This one came out of nowhere, and what I actually wrote down in the moment was, "I could do more good for God if I were a healthier person." I didn't like the way that it looked on the paper and I still don't. It feels like the words of someone who believes that it is all about the things you do vs. who you are. I don't like it when life feels that way. The next thing I wrote was, "I am free from feeling guilty that I primarily connect to God through mission." This one surprised me. I have always wanted to be the guy who connects primarily with God through prayer or singing worship or meditation or study. The truth is, I connect with him most by doing stuff - by actively taking risks for the greater mission. That has always felt shallow or un-spiritual to me compared to the way others experience God. But now I'm over it. I'm free from that. The danger, of course, is when I do missional activity for my own sake...but the same danger exists in prayer, worship and study. I'm free to lead in a new way.

I have been getting healthier this year physically. I need to become more disciplined and balanced around issues of sleep, time management and emotional health. The healthier I can be, the more good I can do - the more I can be about the mission.

I am still processing these things. Normally I wouldn't blog about them until they are processed fully. (But...I'm learning to speak up more.) The good news is I think I just accidentally wrote my message for this weekend while typing this blog...

Comedy as Commentary

Sometimes comedy is just funny. Sometimes it has a point. I think sketch comedy is at its best when it expresses a simple point of view on a societal issue. I've had about as much comedy training as I have theological, so when I see something that works I like to point it out.

This satire piece from Saturday Night Live starts with a simple unstated reality: that many businesses use fear as the motivation to attract customers and make money. Check out the first youtube video from a real Broadview Security Ad currently running on TV. Then watch the Hulu clip from SNL last night. I think you'll see what I mean...

A Very Good, Very Long Day

The last 24 hours have been amazing...in an exhausting sort of way. Between Two Kingdoms released at The Vineyard this weekend. It was my first book signing - which is fun for an author but more than a little intimidating for an introvert. If I said something dumb to you while signing your book, I apologize.

I was about ten times more exhausted after signing books than when I teach on the weekend. But it was worth it. I can't even remember all the compliments and words of encouragement from my tribe at VCC. I'm so glad that the first public event was there - at my home.

That was just the beginning of the day yesterday. Last night we had our first meeting for potential investors in our next feature film, tentatively titled The Balloonier. The event was amazing - nothing in the world excites me more than seeing a team come together for a creative endeavor. Nothing at all. This is stacking up to be a dream team for the ages. I'm so grateful to be able to do all that I was created to do in the context of my church. I've never been more personally or professionally fulfilled than I am now. And to be honest, coming home to the greatest wife and kids in the world is better than all of it.

It was great to meet Rebecca St. James and her dad, David Smallbone, in person last night after several phone calls. Rebecca is the real deal and exactly the right person to star in this movie. Our new friend and business advisor, Jim Derose, spoke about faith and filmmaking. Jim has been the president of companies like Hanes, Mattel Toys and Dreamworks/PDI. His experience and wisdom have been invaluable to us. Brad and I are on a plane right now heading to LA to meet with him and some other industry folks about the movie. (This is my first time having wi-fi on a plane. Living in the future is good.)

My lifelong friend and business partner at Rebel Pilgrim Productions, Jim Nyberg, flew in from Las Vegas for the meeting. For me, last night was the moment I saw with my eyes what I've been sensing in my heart for a while - that the chapters of my life are starting to intersect and make a little more sense. Kind of like the third act of a good Seinfeld episode.

My life hasn't been hard like so many others. I think I have had less than my share of tragedy and heartbreak. That said, it hasn't been particularly easy. There were long years and seasons that seemed fruitless. Times when my "dreams" didn't make sense to anyone including me. Times when it just wasn't working. Times of failure.

I told a friend yesterday that I find it harder to accept blessings from God than the challenges. There is no doubt that God is blessing me now - or at least allowing me to share in how He is blessing the whole of my community. I'm grateful. It's not about me...at all.

Brad and I will be moving from meeting to meeting in LA over the next week. Keep us in your prayers and thoughts as we go. We want to not just meet people of influence, but kindred spirits who share the heart of our mission, which we stated last night at the meeting:

"We tell stories of faith, hope and redemption on film and video that entertain while changing the landscape of American popular culture."

Today is the day.

My book, Between Two Kingdoms, officially releases today. I worry a lot about being too self-promotional. At some level, the whole idea of having a blog is self-promotion...or at least self-exposure. I tend to hold back when I get excited about things. I find it annoying when all people talk about our their personal projects and ideas.

The problem is that I do things like make movies and write books. I pour countless hours - years - into these things and then suddenly they are "finished." Today is an exciting day for me, so I'm going to write about it. Not because I want you to buy my book, but because I know people will be reading it soon. It feels somewhat like sending a kid to college. (I assume. I still have eight years before that dreaded day.) I've done all I can for her and now she is on her own...off to become whatever she will be - to meet whomever she will meet.

Here are my hopes for this book:

1. That it lands in the hands of people who are ready to receive the Kingdom like a child.
2. That it can be used as a new canvas on which to paint the gospel.
3. That it will give useful metaphors to people to talk about the Trinitarian God and his work in the world.
4. That those who read it would become more courageous.
5. That parents and kids would read it together.

If you pray, I'd ask that you would pray for those things as you think about me and the book. Though it may look from the outside like I do many different things, all I really do is tell stories about Jesus and the Kingdom in different ways. A storyteller just wants his stories to fall like seeds on fertile soil ready to receive them. Today just happens to be the first day that this particular seed is scattered.


Sketch by Mark Haas, based on Between Two Kingdoms

Free*

Along with 58 other churches in the Cincy Metro, we launched the Free* series today at The Vineyard. I'm very excited about this journey. A key part of the experience is getting into a discussion group to talk about what you are learning on the weekends and in the personal devotional guide.

If you aren't in a group yet, it isn't too late. Just go to this link.

It's a promise that we are ready to experience at the deepest of levels. Consider joining us. It may be just what you have been looking for:

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

New BTK Video

Between Two Kingdoms is set to release in ten days. Here's a video interview from Standard Publishing:

Between Two Kingdoms Interview with Author Joe Boyd from Still Rendering on Vimeo.

Lenten Fast

I have a love/hate relationship with the Church Calendar. Having grown up within a Protestant tradition that mainly de-valued church tradition, I find myself drawn to the idea of having a well-traveled pathway through the year. But being the guy who loves to re-invent everything, I also like that I am not bound to it.

Through my twenties I experimented with some aggressive dietary fasts during Lent including a few years as a vegan. I learned some things about God and myself...but I also learned that it doesn't take much for the act of giving up something to become a little contrived and Pharisaical.

This year I plan on giving up mindless internet surfing. I think I can limit my non-work related internet usage to 15 minutes per day. This is going to give me at least an hour daily to redirect into some other area.

At this point I am considering reading the Bible straight through with the goal of finishing by Easter. I haven't methodically read the Bible cover to cover for more than two years and it is always a positive experience for me. I would like to read it this time with one question in mind. I'm prayerfully considering what that question will be. I am most drawn to ask something about the use and power of story...

I may or may not blog about what I am learning...I'll have to decide if blogging is part of mindless internet surfing :)

Lent begins this Wednesday. Maybe this is the year you try something new? The point is to prepare yourself for Easter. To "cleanse" and focus for the greatest news we could ever receive - that though we will all die - because of Jesus, we can live again.

Open Doors, Big News

A popular metaphor emerges in the account of St. Paul’s life in the book of Acts. Time and time again the text says that, “a door opened” for Paul to share his faith or venture into a new territory. He also speaks that way about himself in his letters in passages like these:

And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains

Now when I went to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ and found that the Lord had opened a door for me…

Sometimes it is hard to hear God’s voice or know his will. But sometimes things just happen that are obvious. Doors just open for us and we walk through them in faith – unsure of what is on the other side.

Over the last year or two a series of doors have opened up in the area of film and video production for me personally – but also for The Vineyard and our creative community. I have a hunch that some of you will want to join us as we head into this new journey – so I’d like update everyone on what has been going on.

I have already written quite a bit in this blog about the obvious open doors that led my family to Cincinnati and The Vineyard in 2007. I view this as a calling – God asking us to be obedient and follow his leading here. Nothing in the last two and a half years has happened to make me believe otherwise. I assumed that the work I was doing in Los Angeles in the entertainment industry was part of what I needed to surrender for the sake of this new calling. It was hard because I thoroughly enjoyed acting, writing and producing. But I came here having laid it on the proverbial altar.

I did have one project “half-baked” – Hitting the Nuts. I made it clear during the interview process with VCC that I would need to finish this movie at some point. I believed that it would be my last major film project…or at least my last one for a long time.

It took longer than expected, but Nuts was finally financed and filmed this past summer. Doors that were tightly shut in LA suddenly opened up in Cincinnati. So much so that my friends who came in from LA to act in the movie would joke everyday that they should move to Ohio to further their careers…

On the day my friend Bobby Rodgers wrapped Hitting the Nuts he gave an impromptu speech to the cast and crew. Bobby is an older gentleman and a true professional whom I met working in stage shows in Las Vegas. He’s been around a lot of movie sets. He told everyone that in all of his years he had never been a part of a production that felt so much like a true family. Then he bragged on me a little and grew emotional. In that moment I saw clearly that just because God opens one door doesn’t mean He necessarily closes others. God can open multiple doors at once. He can open the “pastor in Ohio” door while leaving the “film producer” door open as well. Not like this is an original theological statement or anything, but God can do whatever He wants.

At the same time I was shooting Nuts I was contacted by a Vice President of Sony Pictures to discuss “future projects.” Living and struggling everyday in Los Angeles I knew it wasn’t normal for a studio executive to reach out to a low budget indie filmmaker – especially one in Cincinnati. I reluctantly returned his call, somewhat worried that he was an imposter.

He wasn’t. He had helped Sony distribute Fireproof – a Christian movie that did exceptionally well at the box office in 2009. He was networking with other Christian filmmakers and genuinely wanted to help me figure out how to navigate the studio system. The success of Fireproof resulted in most of the major studios starting or expanding their “Faith and Family” divisions. Regardless of what you think about Hollywood, there is only one real truth – Money is everything. If something sells they will get behind it. In short, it is a good time to be making movies that appeal to people interested in faith. If Christians don’t make movies about faith over the next few years, somebody else will. He encouraged me to think beyond Nuts.

The obvious irony was that I was a pastor making a mainstream comedy movie about poker at the time. (Nuts isn't vile or anything...but it isn't a Christian movie. It's just funny.) But it was becoming clear that doors were opening for a future project should we elect to walk through them.

The “random” connection with Sony was the first of many. Since then we have been contacted by people with connections to three other major studios. The studio system isn’t the easiest place to break into. It has all just happened.

Last year I began talking with my fellow members of the Senior Leadership and the trustees at VCC about these open doors. I was only really sure of one thing – that God didn’t call me to Ohio to move back to LA to make movies. God called me to Cincinnati and that hasn’t changed. The big question was – is God calling VCC to venture into making a movie?

The Vineyard has had a history of taking risks to spread the seeds of the gospel. It has also always strived to retain a level of relevance within the culture. We have had a history of reaching out beyond us in any and every way we can. The idea of producing a film with these same values seemed mission consistent to us.

In 2009 Brad Wise began writing a screenplay called “The Balloonier.” (A side note: I’ve been looking my whole life for a true creative partner and found one in that guy. Don’t tell him though, it will go to his head.) We have been editing the script for months now. Receiving specific feedback from the folks at Sony and other industry professionals - fine-tuning the message we would want to give to the world.

Now we have a story we are excited to tell to anyone who would listen. The Balloonier is a quirky, comedic reinterpretation of the prodigal son parable. A story of hope found through forgiveness and unexpected community. It is about the idea that it is never too late for anyone to come home.

The movie will be produced this summer by Rebel Pilgrim Productions in partnership with The Vineyard. It will provide VCC the opportunity to shout the message that is close to our heart to the entire world – that there is hope – that it is never to late to change – and that God is always calling his children home.

The goal is to have The Balloonier in theaters in late 2011. We plan on producing some sort of small group/church journey curriculum that churches can lead their people through after watching the movie. The Balloonier has gospel-centered themes, but it isn’t preachy or manipulative. It will provide a starting point for spiritual discussions. For those of you familiar with the Alpha program, I would see The Balloonier as a perfect experience just before week one – something to get the brain and spirit stirring toward spiritual ideas.

It will be produced low-budget by Hollywood standards. The funds will be coming from high-worth individual investors. (Lots of SEC roles about this stuff.) The Vineyard will not be funding the project directly, but supporting with “sweat equity” – stuff like staff time, equipment usage, office space, etc.

I’m excited to announce that Brad Wise will be directing the project. A lot of the production team from Hitting the Nuts will be joining forces again – Mark Denney (DP), Isaac Stambaugh (UPM), Mark Haas (PD), Bekka Prewitt (2nd AD) and others.

My partner Jim Nyberg and I will be producing. Jim Derose, the former President/CEO of Dreamworks/PDI is graciously working as our business advisor.

I'm thrilled to announce that Christian recording artist Rebecca St. James will have a starring role as Dr. Joyce. Rebecca has been expanding into acting and recently starred in the film Sarah’s Choice. Also attached in a cameo role is Ashley Palmer, one of the stars of last year’s break out hit, Paranormal Activity. (There’s also some pastor who used to be in General Hospital who has an acting role…)

We are all excited about these open doors. Brad and I will be going to LA in March to meet with several distributors and studio executives.

Here is how you can be involved now:

Please pray for the following:

1. That God would continue to lead us (as He has already) to see our vision of telling stories that entertain while changing the face of American culture.
2. For the March 7th informational meeting in Cincinnati for potential investors. Pray that the right people will show up who share this vision and want to see it become a reality.
3. For our constantly growing contacts in the entertainment world. Not a week goes by that we aren’t speaking to someone of influence. Pray that God uses us in these personal relationships.
4. For the right distribution pathway that allows the most people to experience the story.
5. For safety and wisdom before and during actual production.
6. For those who will see the finished project. That they may be nudged toward the Kingdom through the retelling of Jesus’ story of the lost son.

Other ways to be involved:

As the time gets closer we will need Cincinnati-based volunteers to be background actors, provide meals, find locations, etc. We aren’t ready to properly systemize volunteer involvement yet, but we will let you know how to get involved as we get closer.

If you are a professional in the area of media arts, production, marketing or fund raising and would have an interest in volunteering your services at this time, contact Brad or myself.

It’s going to be a fun ride! Just another way to tell a timeless story. I’m honored to be on the storytelling team at my church. Let's all just keep looking for the open doors and trust God to do the rest.

Doppelgangers?

Well...all the crazy kids on Facebook are trying to get me to post my personal Doppelganger in honor of Doppelganger Week. (I had to look it up - it is a German word for "look-a-like.") From what people tend to tell me, my top three are below. If it were simply based on muscle tone, celebrity number one would be a shoe-in. I actually never got Ray Romano once until moving to Cincinnati, but now not a week goes by without it. Before that it was mainly Buscemi. I'll take Ray all day long if those are my two choices - no offense, Steve.





The bigger issue here is why we care. I suppose we all want to look like someone whom most people think is attractive...you know, like Steve Buscemi. My wife told a stranger last week that she looked like Bikini Girl from American Idol. I don't think the girl was very pleased.

We concluded our fifteen week journey through the book of Acts this week at VCC. There is one Doppleganger incident there. A time when some people were confused with someone else. In case you missed it...

Then Barnabas went to Tarsus to look for Saul, and when he found him, he brought him to Antioch. So for a whole year Barnabas and Saul met with the church and taught great numbers of people. The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch. - Acts 11:25-27

It loses a little something in the translation, but it literally says that the disciples were first called "Little Christs" in Antioch. The people looking in at the Kingdom community from afar said, "Hey, do you know who those people act like?"

"Yeah," came the response. "They remind me of that Jesus who they thought was the Christ."

Some believe that the term Christian was actually pejorative at first. Perhaps the outsiders were poking fun at a group of people who would be so misguided to follow a dead convicted criminal. The disciples, however, wore it as a badge of honor. It was Peter who reminded these early Christians that "If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you."

What's the bottom line for me? I can live with Ray Romano or even Steve Buscemi comparisons...but there is only one guy I'd really like to remind people of someday. (It's not Hugh Jackman either...)

On Creativity.

The theology of creativity is interesting to me. In Romans, Paul talks some about what theologians call "general revelation."

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." -Romans 1:20 (NIV)

"Specific revelation" would be defined as a direct communication from God to humanity. For the Jew and Christian, the Torah and other Scriptures would fall into the specific category. Of course, the person of Jesus is the ultimate specific revelation for the Christian. But apart from these divine interruptions, Paul says that we can generally become aware of God through "what has been made." We see a Creator - a Mind - an Artist. This is enough to move most of us from atheism to theism. There must be something...or someone other than us out there. His "divine nature" is tied up in "what has been made." Who he is created what we see.

Early on in the creation account of the Torah we stumble upon an interesting passage about mankind:

Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. - Genesis 1:26-27 (NIV)

There is mystery here on a few fronts. The subject/verb tense disagreement is among them. It says literally that a very singular God speaks to himself as if plural. Some have used this to hint toward the Trinity, but it seems a bit of a stretch to me. The greater idea may be that he is beyond language - beyond us. None of this is my point for today though - it is rather the claim that human beings were originally and continually created in the image and likeness of YHWH.

These two words will be repeated again and again in the Torah - but mainly in the prohibitions against making or worshiping false Gods. The people of God were not to make a god in the image or likeness of an animal or anything else that was thought to contain the essence of deity. The Living God doesn't need or desire idols made of stone or wood, but He does have something to carry his essence in the world - people. A Living God has living image bearers. We are his likeness.

It is worth pondering what we know of God looking at only the text up until Genesis 1:26. We know he is powerful - that he has authority. It is clear that this is part of the image we have been given. In context, we see that since we are created in his image, we are to rightly rule over the earth.

But the secondary assumption we can make is that the God of Genesis 1:1-25 is at his essence creative. He is the Creator. To be endowed with his image and likeness is to be little creators. To create is to be human and to be human is to reflect the image of the divine.

The first person in the Bible to be described as "filled with the Spirit of God" may be someone you have never heard of. It wasn't Noah, Abraham, Joseph or Moses. He is first mentioned in Exodus 31:

"Then the LORD said to Moses, "See, I have chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts - to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of craftsmanship." - Exodus 31:1-5

This is worth meditation. Throughout the Scriptures, God will fill people with his Spirit to give them special power or wisdom. But here we see clearly, that he also fills artists with the Spirit to create art for his purposes. Art and creativity are spiritual.

Not all of us are as gifted (talented?) as Bezalel, but all of us are creative beings. It is part of what it means to be human. When life becomes so predictable or monetized or safe that there is no room for creative explosions, we lose sight of who we are. We lose touch with the God who creates.

Most Christians I know want to be spiritually disciplined. This usually means they want to pray, read the Bible, attend church events, help the poor, etc. These are good things. But below is a list of some other spiritual disciplines. Maybe trying one this month would be a good thing for you...

painting, writing, sculpting, dancing, photography, designing, sewing, pretending, cooking, singing, acting, inventing, wood-working, drawing, playing, gardening, filmmaking, fashion design, throwing a party, organizing a flag football game, learning to play the piccalo, etc, etc, etc....you get the idea.

New Blog

We have started a new blog specifically devoted to my upcoming book, Between Two Kingdoms at www.betweentwokingdoms.wordpress.com. In a few days you can access it simply through www.betweentwokingdoms.com.

I'd invite you to go over and look around. Over the next few weeks I plan on re-visiting some posts on this blog that apply to the issues associated with the book - mainly storytelling, Kingdom theology and creativity. If you wanna help spread the word about the release, this new site is the best place to send people.

She is now what she will always be.

My first book, Between Two Kingdoms, goes to print this week. It is to be released sometime in March. This fact has caused a lot of reflection on my end this week. The first words that would become Between Two Kingdoms were hastily typed out in the fall of 1999 for a message series called "A Tale of Two Kingdoms" for Apex Church in Las Vegas. It was a teaching series through the Sermon on the Mount crafted shortly after reading Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy, a book that would change my understanding of the gospel forever. My friend Jennifer Parks read each chapter after I would speak. It was an engaging time of growth for Apex. I have fond memories of that time in my life.

Writing the story was a way to try to contextualize my emerging theology. I grew up with what Willard called a "gospel of sin management" and was replacing that gospel with the gospel of the Kingdom. I was growing up in my faith and this fairy tale/kid's story was the most adult thing I had ever written.

I never intended to publish it. It was part therapy, part sermon illustration, part history of our little church plant. In 2000, I wrote a few more chapters during a vacation. Mainly out of boredom. Then it rested.

The story slept on the hard drive of an old Dell laptop while my life continued without her. She slept through the harder years of Apex, when we aggressively moved toward house churches and wrestled with the thousands of practical implications of discovering the centrality of the Kingdom. She slept through my resignation from church work and my years as an entertainer in Las Vegas. She slept through our move to Los Angeles in 2005 and first few years of our life there.

Then one day in early 2007, I woke her up. I had to find my old laptop and dig around, but there she was. Just the way I left her. Snoozing away - grammatical errors, missing plot points and all. I decided to share the story (what is now the first nine or so chapters) with my new church community at The Crossing in Costa Mesa. They received her kindly and resurrected a puff of life back into her.

Then the most unexpected thing happened - God picked us up by the shirt collar and brought us back to Cincinnati. So we came - with all that was ours - some cheap ikea furniture, a Toyota Corolla with manual locks, a few boxes of toys...and a half-finished fairy tale.

After a year or so, I shared a chapter of the story with my new family at The Vineyard. The following week I spoke at a conference at my alma mater. There I met Dale Reeves, the Director of Acquisitions at Standard Publishing. We talked and exchanged emails. Somehow my story came up...so I sent him what I had with little expectations.

The folks at Standard liked her - sort of. She was a little rough around the edges...and way too short, but she had potential. So they agreed to publish her. That was August, 2008. Nine years after her first incarnation. That is when the hard work began - I had to actually finish the story. I fearlessly immersed myself back into a world that I had created a decade earlier. I had changed a lot in ten years. She had not changed at all. She was going to have to. Exactly one year ago I turned in the "final" draft of the extended story to Standard. Then it went to edit. For the last twelve months the story has bounced back and forth between several editors and myself. At last, it landed in the capable hands of Laura Derico, a lifelong friend of mine. She massaged my words into something exponentially better than I could have ever done alone. I learned that editors probably never get the glory they deserve on projects like this.

Last week I sent in a few final notes and that was the end of it. She is finished. If I had to guess, less than ten percent of those first words written in 1999 remain. She evolved. And like me, she has grown up over the last eleven years. I hope that lots of people like her...but even if they don't, I do. She's not perfect, but she has persevered...and she has now done something I have never had the courage to do. She has, for the rest of time, elected to stop evolving. She is now what she will always be. She is finished.

A Call to Seek Understanding in 2010

I have been overwhelmed over the last few years by certain hateful outbursts from Christians - normally aimed toward other Christians. I had been toying with the idea of responding to all of my "hate mail" publicly in 2010 on this blog. I have decided not to, assuming it wouldn't really help what seems to be the primary problem with all of us - an instinct to react before trying to understand the position of the other person.

Today is my first day in the office since Christmas and I was greeted with a rather self-righteous letter regarding three words that were spoken during the Vineyard Christmas Show. In the letter I was told to "quit being so controversial." (You'd never guess the three offensive words, so don't even try - They weren't even said by me.) My response to that is that I have indeed quit trying to be controversial to the best of my ability and maturity. When I was younger I did things for the sake of controversy. Young people do that. They overreact. Now that I am less young, I do things for specific reasons. It seems to me a dialogue about the reasons why someone did something offensive to you would be more beneficial than shooting a stranger a letter, email, or far worse - a publicly viewed comment on a social media site. It is bad when Christians argue without seeking understanding in private. It is anti-missional and self-destructive when it happens in a public forum. We come off as arrogant and ignorant. And most people know enough about Jesus to know that we are being hypocritical when we do so.

A month back I was publicly criticized on Facebook for taking a vacation. The argument went that as a pastor I should not make enough money to take the sort of vacation I took. This may be a fair argument, but it is not fair to do it publicly. Had the person personally contacted me I would have offered my W-2 statements, receipts for my vacation expenses and the reasons why Debbie and I take a trip like this every five years without the kids. After seeing the numbers, that person could (still rather subjectively) decide if I am overpaid. If after that dialogue the person convinced me that I was in truth being overpaid as a pastor, I would take a pay cut. I have done this before for the sake of the mission of organizations I believe in. I'd do it again. Alas, none of this could be discussed because there was no attempt to understand. The reaction was to publicly malign.

I have advocated Facebook and Twitter for the church. They can be useful tools to promote community. Our problem comes when we begin to believe that the person we are relating with online is some avatar living within our computer. Life is not a game. People matter. Matthew 18 and Paul's one another commands apply on Facebook as much as in "real life."

I'm going to commit to seek to understand before seeking to be understood in 2010. I'd love for you to join me.

The Christmas Virus

Since reading this passage in CS Lewis' Mere Christianity years ago I have annually been reminded of it on Christmas day. Christmas is the moment the earth was infected...

We are not begotten by God, we are only made by Him: in our natural state we are not sons of God, only (so to speak) statues. We have not got Zoe or spiritual life: only Bios or biological life which is presently going to run down and die. Now the whole offer which Christianity makes is this: that we can, if we let God have His way, come to share in the life of Christ. If we do, we shall then be sharing a life which was begotten, not made, which always has existed and always will exist Christ is the Son of God. If we share in this kind of life we also shall be sons of God. We shall love the Father as He does and the Holy Ghost will arise in us. He came to this world and became a man in order to spread to other men the kind of life He has-by what I call "good infection." Every Christian is to become a little Christ. The whole purpose of becoming a Christian is simply nothing else.

Thoughts on War, Nation and Kingdom

I'm a member of a community of theologians and practitioners called The Ekklesia Project. Recently, I was asked to contribute an essay as a response to President Obama's Nobel speech. I don't naturally write about things that are "political" in the way we normally use the word in society. The following is my response to the practice of War. It is some new work combined with an edit of an older essay. This Advent we desire peace.

Thoughts on War, Nation and Kingdom:

Although I resonate with many of the tenants of pacifism, I am not a very good pacifist. I want to be, but if you try to hurt my wife or kids, odds are, I’ll slug you in the face. That’s all to say, I haven’t got all of this figured out.

When it comes to issues of war, nationalism and imperialism; I can afford to have stronger convictions in part because I am not in a position to act on them – as President Obama currently is. Here again is a transparent inconsistency in me. I want to live in a world where the church leads the way into peace, but I also stubbornly enjoy knowing that I live in a nation-state system that uses violence to regulate “peace” to my personal benefit. Like many, I have some mixed views on the subject. I could be a hypocrite. But hopefully I am just finding my way to a practical expression of my theological convictions.

My primary problem with war is that it is so powerful. (Here, of course, I paraphrase Yoder, Hauerwas and others.) War, we all say, is hell; but there is nothing better than War to draw people together for a common purpose. My issues, therefore, with War and nation-worship rest here. It is such a powerful thing that it becomes a shadow of what is real. War is the fuel that propels the false idol of nationalism.

War reminds us (as Americans) that we are part of a Kingdom – the Kingdom (reign) of what we commonly call freedom, democracy or justice. It also gives us a Mission – an enemy to eradicate and a higher purpose worth dying for. Lastly, War (I capitalize the word as if it were a person or a god purposely) births genuine community. We have only to think back to the days after 9-11 to remember how “close” we felt to each other as Americans. War brings us together. War protects us while giving us hope and security for our future. The only problem is, that’s God’s job.

War is the way nationalists worship.

The problem for Christians is that we have foundational beliefs associated with Kingdom, Mission and Community. The common gods of War and Nation shadow our beliefs so closely that we give ourselves over to them without a second thought. These issues of Kingdom, Mission and Community should matter tremendously to us. Our God, it would seem, is innately connected to these ideals:

KINGDOM:

God is Sovereign. The Creator, Sustainer, and Consummator of the universe. He alone deserves praise, worship and homage. He truly is King of all that was, is and will be.

As King, God has always desired a people to be his followers – or subjects. In this regard, God is truly "political" in the literal since of the word, but his "polis" surpasses the kingdoms of this world, which amount to nothing compared to his Kingdom. God elected Abraham and the nation of Israel to be his chosen people, but Israel could not be faithful to his covenant.

As the entire New Testament testifies, Jesus came to proclaim access to the Kingdom of God, fulfilling and completing the Law and the Prophets of the Jews. He was the one true Israelite. Jesus came, announcing the good news (gospel) that the Kingdom had broken into humanity in a new, fresh, and eschatologically significant way. As the Messiah/Christ (our political King) Jesus offered access into the Kingdom of God to all who would listen to his proclamation, repent and faithfully live under his political authority.

The reality of this new "Kingdom-among-us" radically transformed the lives of Jesus' closest friends and disciples. Since the death, burial and resurrection of Christ the reality and power of the Kingdom of God has been made available to all people who will continue to follow Christ as his early friends did. The Kingdom Jesus brought to us is better than the Kingdoms of the world. War distracts us from this reality.

MISSION:

God, by nature, is a missional being. He is a missionary God. Even within Himself, He is a sending God. (The Father sent the Son, the Son sent the Spirit.) The people of God reflect his missional character by allowing themselves to be sent by Him, proclaiming life in the Kingdom and incarnating the love of God in their time and place. Disciples of Jesus follow Him as King and are sent by Him both as his ambassadors and soldiers to the world.

The people of God are called to live as resident aliens in a world that is not their own. Therefore, for every true follower of Christ, their world (their time, place and culture) is their battlefield – where the mission is accomplished. They are reclaiming the earth for their King. They are residents of the Kingdom of God-both the Kingdom of the here-and-now and the Kingdom that is to come. In this sense, Jesus disciples are by nature already armpit deep in world war. We cannot afford to be distracted by another.

COMMUNITY:

God is an eternal community of one-ness. Though He is Three, He is also One. God exists in everlasting love within his own being-Father, Son and Spirit. God created mankind to live in community with Himself. He desires a people. If you will, God is a nation-builder.

Men and women are created with an innate longing for community with God and with each other. However, the human race both originally and continually opts to sin against God. As human beings continue to prefer their own will to the will of God, true community with God and other people becomes impossible for fallen people. However, through Christ, God returned the gift of community to the human race.

Through the faithfulness of Christ, community occurs within the context of the Kingdom of God as followers of Jesus trust the Holy Spirit and love one another in response to first being loved by God.

When the Kingdom of God is proclaimed and received in a given locality, the Holy Spirit forms the people of God into a church. The local church functions as the people of God and as the embassy of the Kingdom of God in a given culture.

The Church is not the Kingdom of God. The Church submits to the Kingdom as its sign, foretaste and agent. The Church is a particularly eschatological phenomenon. This means that the church belongs to the last days (the "eschaton"). These last days came with the life, death, burial and resurrection of Christ and will be completed upon his second coming to earth. The church exists in the interim days between the beginning and the end of the eschaton. The church is a pilgrim people on a voyage toward the ultimate and total reign of God as the true and only King.

The church is the sign of the Kingdom in that it is not the Kingdom, but it points people toward the rule of God. The church is the witness of the reality that the Kingdom of God is both already alive among us and will one day fully come. In this regard, the church exists to proclaim King Jesus and his Kingdom to the world.

The church is the foretaste of the Kingdom in that it contains the true people of God. Though the Kingdom has not come fully, it has come already. The rule and love of God may be felt and understood within the church in a real and dynamic way. Life in the church prepares us and fits us for life in the Kingdom.

The church exists as a community of Jesus followers. The community, however, is normally, if not always, counter-cultural to the dominant structures of the time and place where the church exists. The local church sees itself as the "polis" or city of God. Members of the church allow themselves to be led only by God (their true Lord), not by the epistemology, economy or politics of their culture.

More often than not, the politics of Jesus are different than the dominant worldview being lived out day to day by the people of any culture. As a general rule, when the church becomes too central or cozy with the powers that be, the church loses its marginality, its true power as the eschatological sign of the Kingdom of God. Therefore, the church should normally have a marginal place in society. It creates its own cultural norms that are often counter to the norms of an anthropocentric worldview. The church strives to live true to the teachings of Jesus and to model his faithfulness to the world. If Jesus was marginalized, persecuted and hated (and he was), those who follow him should expect the same treatment.

Contrary to popular sentiment, the church grows in a more substantial way when it retains its position at the margins of society. The church historically weakens when it converts to a nation-state or a “secular” epistemology.

CONCLUSION:

These are my thoughts this Advent as I ponder the state of the world. I am not an academic or a politician. I have no real answers to how the church universal (or American) should react to the current Wars raging on the planet. I’m just a practitioner and pastor who desires to see Jesus conquer violence once and for all. I help lead a large evangelical mega-church in Ohio full of people whom I love and serve, but who mostly think differently than me on these points. My hope in posting this essay is only to contribute slightly to a discussion that may help me and others like me lead God’s people through a violent and deceptive world.

The Christmas Show

This year The Christmas Show at the Vineyard will unwrap the nativity story on stage and screen. Six characters in six different art forms and styles that will work together to give you a fresh perspective on the nativity story. A mix of humor, drama, dance, original music and perhaps a couple streamer-launching cannons. tix.vineyardcincinnati.com Check out the videos below...turns out the Nativity Wise Men are a little miffed they were overlooked in the casting process this year...

Input.

Debbie and I had a great time in Cancun celebrating our 15th Anniversary (Officially it is New Years Eve.). Four nights/five days in a tropical paradise was great. I could have easily doubled that, but I am not about to complain. There is lots to do here over the next few weeks that I am very excited about. I'm speaking this weekend in the second week of the Advent 09 teaching series at The Vineyard. Then full steam ahead to The Christmas Show Dec 21, 22 and 23. It's a free ticketed event, so head on over and reserve your tickets now at this link.

The last year of my life has been full of output - writing my first book, directing/producing a feature film, several dozen teaching engagements, etc. It has been a fun and adventuresome year, but too much output can wear a person down - even a performer type. I read four books on my vacation. There was a time in my life when I was reading about three books per week. That was a high "input" season. I'm hoping next year is a better balance of input and output. Regardless, it was good to read on the beach for a few days.

I have to say that I picked exactly the right books for my vacation. I read a collection of short stories from my favorite sci-fi author, Philip K. Dick. I don't read a lot of fiction, so that was a nice change of pace. I'll tell you the other three books if you don't make fun of me for reading them on vacation - we all rest in different ways:

1. The Language of God: A Scientist Presents Evidence for Belief
- Francis Collins is a Christian scientist who led the Human Genome Project. This book hugely strengthened my faith. I've said before that I struggle with doubt and I think most people just think it is me overstating some minor questions that I have, but it isn't. I'm a real-deal doubter sometimes. Most typical apologetic books don't speak my language, but I loved Collins. I recommend him unconditionally for anyone with a scientific mind struggling with the evidence for a Creator.

2. Justification: God's Plan & Paul's Vision - First an admission: I have tasted the N.T. Wright Kool-Aid and it is good. Wright is my favorite living theologian. I have a bit of a giddy schoolgirl crush on him. This book allowed me to step back and take a fresh look at Pauline theology. Most people aren't looking for that on vacation, but it is exactly what I needed. I'm going to re-read it soon, but I recommend it for any armchair theologian struggling with Kingdom or narrative theology.

3. Outliers: The Story of Success - Love me some Malcolm Gladwell. I've read all of his books and have enjoyed them. This one probably wasn't as mind-blowing as Blink or The Tipping Point, but I have found myself thinking about the stories in it through the day. I love Gladwell on his audio books. His voice is great.

Glad to be home. Time for some output now...off to start thinking about this weekend's message.

Hello from Mexico.

Two seconds of wifi. FYI - the weather is nicer in Cancun than Ohio.

Doing Nothing is Hard.

I think Holidays are exceptionally hard to handle for driven people. Mandatory world-wide down time is frustrating to people addicted to action and interaction. (It's the kind of thing that could make the world's greatest golfer freak out at two in the morning.) I put myself in the category of those addicted to action. Unplugging from the internet for about 36 hours over Thanksgiving was kind of hard for me. I had a few emails come in from some very driven, very successful people in my life on Thanksgiving night. Didn't surprise me at all. When I was primarily a professional actor I would always send a "year in review" update to all of my professional contacts the day after Thanksgiving. It gave me something to do. Hollywood more or less shuts down between Thanksgiving and New Years. It was always maddening to go from auditioning one or two times per day to about once per week. It was depressing.

These days my professional life is more or less defined, but I have felt those manic urges that always flood my mind after a day or two of "rest" - the compulsion to start writing a new book or to edit an old screenplay or to sign up for some obscure art appreciation class at the community college. I've heard that the ancients didn't have a word for boredom. I don't know if that is true or not...but it seems the more people have to do the more capacity we have to become bored.

My summer vacation this year was more working fun than resting downtime. Since then I haven't stopped. I don't feel physically exhausted. I've had days to rest and relax. I just feel like I am on one of those remote control race car tracks that goes in circles at high speeds and never ends. Here's a helpful hint that I have learned - the harder you run, the harder it is to stop. The first few days of trying to "rest" tend to be very frustrating. It's hard to detox from doing. At a similar time in my life years ago, I went on a spiritual retreat - 3 days of silence and solitude in a beautiful monastery in San Jose. I slept 20 of the first 24 hours. That should tell you something.

Debbie and I are heading to Cancun next week for five days to celebrate 15 years of wedded bliss. It is not our normal sort of vacation - we tend to like cities, musicals, movies and urban action. Our tenth year anniversary trip was to San Francisco. That's more us, really. But I think this is what we need - a self-imposed lock down in an all-you-can-eat-and-drink tropical resort sounds about right for 15 years of marriage. I have a hunch the first day of doing nothing may be harder than I expect...but I fully intend to get used to doing nothing before coming back to face winter number three in the Great Midwest.

“Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.” -Winnie the Pooh