Saturday, December 14, 2002

Sabbath Day 16-A Fresh Understanding.

I have had a rather peaceful breakthrough in this third week of resting.

Some thoughts about my calling into simple church life:

I would honestly rather live a life true to my calling than live a seemingly succesful life outside of my calling. God has called me to follow Jesus with my friends in simple church life. He has called me to pray for a church planting movement in my city and to encourage anyone who has the same calling on their life (whether they be Christian or pagan). As far as church and mission go, that's pretty much it.

Here is the peaceful breakthrough: It might not work. It might fail and I might look incredibly silly. I might embarass all of my Christian friends who used to be so proud of my "potential" to do amazing things "for God". I might even be an embarassment to myself and my family. It's all OK. Because I would rather be a faithful failure than a secretly disobedient success.

So if everyone in Apex leaves and goes back to the megachurch of their choice, I will be supportive of them and faithful to my call to simple church.

If there is no more money for Apex to support me, I will not worry or complain, but I will get a job and be faithful to my call to simple church.

If my closest freinds are called away from this vision and encourage me to go with them, I will miss them, but I will be faithful to my call to simple church.

If the media labels us a cult and calls me an extremist, I will pray for them and not respond, but I will be faithful to my call to simple church.

I would rather die poor, lonely, unnoticed and faithful than die comfortable, beloved, famous and a liar.

In the words of some other reformer, "Here I stand. I cannot, I will not recant."



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