Saturday, October 11, 2003

If we ever have a girl I wanna name her Zoe Grace

Zoe is greek for life.

Grace is english for...grace.

I think that God is teaching me to grow and to receive grace. Grace...its a funny thing. I don't know if I am strange, but receiving grace is about a thousand times harder for me than giving grace. Grace is pity. It's feeling so sorry for the broken state of another that you are moved to love and forgiveness and generosity. Grace starts in knowing that you yourself are a mess and a failure. (I've never had a problem realizing that.) Grace culminates into action when you see that the person next to you is a mess and a failure in their own unique way. You say, "Hey...they are a mess...just like, i feel so sorry for them." That's grace as I understand it as a 30 year-old American Protestant male.

I have had to ask for grace three times over the last two weeks. Twice from people who are very important to me. Once from a stranger. Asking for grace is hard. It turns you into a pathetic child. It makes you a begger. It humbles you. I have been following Jesus as best as I can for 22 years now. He promises to redeem me and give me grace. I wish that he would redeem me faster so that I could not have to ask for pity from the people I love. But perhaps his ultimate grace to me is allowing me to slowly learn how much I need a Savior.

So, thanks to all of you who have been gracious to me. Thanks to God who is patiently letting me grow up.

"Blessed are the merciful because they have received mercy."

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