Tuesday, September 28, 2004


It's hard. You wait for something, anything, to happen. Everyone is always asking how its going. You can't tell if they are honestly interested or secretly judging the decision to do something seemingly impossible with your life.

I used to have huge emotional swings...not really swings because I never really got too excited. Just huge depressive slumps during the bad times. (This was in my old church life.) I've tried to see this new career more realistically. I will fail at most every audition I do. The problem with that is I get excited when something actually happens. I don't really do excitement as an emotion very well. Since I was a little kid I was embarrassed to be too happy or excited. It's hard to get used to allowing that emotion into my phsyche. It's incredibly humbling when you get excited about something too early...

All of that as a preamble to say that the Travel Channel shoot has been moved...to the week of October 10. The week I'm going to be out of town celebrating 10 years of marriage to the love of my life. I'd rather be there, but damn it, I almost was able to do both.

There's still a chance it will film on a day I'm in town...but they won't work it around me. They'll find some other desperate actor to take my spot, my check, and my credit on my resume.

So there...I threw up on you guys to avoid a depressive slump. Just give me a few days before you ask if I've gotten any new jobs...but then start asking again because if you really care I want to be able to let myself be excited with you. And if you are judging me, stop it because I do it enough to myself. Lots of love.

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