Just for balance, since my last post was so encouraging. My last two auditions have felt very rough. Granted, they were both quite a stretch for me, but still...I have been nervous at them. I hate that. I'm caring too much. When I didn't know any better and didn't really care about getting a job, I got most of the jobs that I auditioned for. These days I'm not quite as fortunate. There's a chance that one of the last two will come through...but I doubt it.
These little successes and failures have very little impact on my overall mood, however. That's quite a change from a younger version of myself. After my disaster, er audition, yesterday I was pretty low for about five or six hours. But today I feel fine. Having the reality and constant awareness of rejection in my life every single day has made me less fearful and less worrisome of failure.
I'm so happy to have my family to come home to. Their unwavering acceptance of me, the constant encouraging of my dreams, the relentless encoure of "Daddy's home!" everytime I walk through the door are more than enough to offset a world of rejection from these countless unknown casting directors.