Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Pain Fragments

I'm in it. Constantly. I just returned from the dentist with hopes of somehow leaving my pain there. But no luck. I have 2 cavities that have hit a nerve. They told me that I would have to see a specialist to get a root canal. Sounds bad...but not as bad as waking up every 15 minutes in pain all night long. So I called the Specialist. September 9. That's the earliest I can see him. And that's just for a consultation to set up a time to do the root canal. Two more weeks of pain. So I went back to the Dentist and begged for pain killers. He looked at me like I was a junky. But he gave me 16 pills....and the "recommended plan." It came to $3,500 after the insurance paid its part. I can't afford to be in pain. That "lower" price also assumes that I stretch it out until next year because my insurance only covers $1000 each year. Which is weird. Because I pay like $500 into it a year.

Eli started pre-school today. He's growing up. More pain.

My sister-in-law is dying. This week probably. Debbie's brother Dave is in real pain. My pain is a joke compared to his. We are going to be with them Friday night. Pain is supposed to be shared.

Without pain there is no hope of pleasure.

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