The kids have been shipped off to Kansas City with my mom and dad. The packers are at the house today working hard, while I drink my coffee and write this. This gives me great joy and a little guilt. Our other moves (all eight of them) were all about us and a U-haul, so this one is a little different to say the least. This will be our ninth home in our 12 1/2 years of marriage. That is especially impressive considering we lived in one house for about seven years from 1997-2003. Our ninth house is about 25 miles from our first apartment that we lived in for about five months before moving to Vegas in 1995. I keep thinking of Mr. Bilbo Baggins and his journey "there and back again."
Monday begins our Journey back again. The Allied truck will be loaded in the morning and Deb and I will start the cross country trip in the Corolla, stopping in KC to see mom and dad, and to fetch the kids. We are due to arrive in Cincinnati sometime before August 15, when our house is set to close. I have always enjoyed those rare nomadic moments in life when you leave one home in search of another. There is something very primal and adventuresome about it. It mixes a fear of the unknown, a sentimentailty of the past and and an excitement for the future. It reminds you that you are alive and that life is unpredictable. It is also nice knowing that everything you own fits in a truck and that you can live without it all for a week or two. It makes you want to get rid of everything - until you open the truck and wonder how you managed to survive without Tivo, alarm clocks and your toaster oven.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Moving Fast
We spent some time last week in Cincinnati preparing for the move and looking at houses. We visited several dozen and found one that we really liked on the second day. We put an offer in that night and it was accepted the following day. We are set to close on August 15, which will also be our first day there. Everything is moving fast...and we are literally moving fast. August 6 will be our last day here in Costa Mesa.
Our new pad is in Liberty Township, located about twenty miles north of Cincinnati. After living in Orange County for more than two years, the economic shift was a little crazy to say the least. (Our house will cost much less than the two bedroom apartment we lived in last year.) We were able to find a newer home with plenty of space, including a (nearly) finished basement and a big backyard. Here are some nice midwestern photos of the new place...
The next few weeks will be busy - lots of good-byes followed by packing, driving, visiting some family, driving some more and then unpacking, painting, buying a lawn mower (who knew?) and all that stuff. I'm excited about it all, except the good-byes, which make me a little sad and uncomfortable. More than everything I'm excited to see what the next season will actually be like. It's all so new and, like I said over and over in the last post, so very unexpected.
Our new pad is in Liberty Township, located about twenty miles north of Cincinnati. After living in Orange County for more than two years, the economic shift was a little crazy to say the least. (Our house will cost much less than the two bedroom apartment we lived in last year.) We were able to find a newer home with plenty of space, including a (nearly) finished basement and a big backyard. Here are some nice midwestern photos of the new place...
The next few weeks will be busy - lots of good-byes followed by packing, driving, visiting some family, driving some more and then unpacking, painting, buying a lawn mower (who knew?) and all that stuff. I'm excited about it all, except the good-byes, which make me a little sad and uncomfortable. More than everything I'm excited to see what the next season will actually be like. It's all so new and, like I said over and over in the last post, so very unexpected.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
A Very Unexpected Turn of Events
Some things in life you see coming. Some things in life surprise you.
And then there is that third catergory. The few times, perhaps only a handful over the course of a lifetime, that so blindside you that you feel dizzy for a few years afterward. This is one of those times.
As I have noted in this journal, around April of this year something in my spirit began to change. (To explain this change I am going to have speak in terms of "God moving" or "speaking" to me. I do that rarely and cautiously. However, in these events I know of no other way to explain it.) I began to sense a call to openness along with a growing conviction that I was holding part of myself back from the Lordship of Christ. Debbie and I began to talk about what this could mean. It brought us into discussions about my career path and our overall spiritual journey.
On Easter Sunday we visited my mom and dad in Kansas City and attended their church. Nothing too out of the ordinary happened at the service, but I could feel myself reacting differently than I would have earlier in my life. In my early twenties I would have silently condemned this church for being a little "out of touch." In my late twenties I would have certainly condemned them for being overly structured and institutionalized. But as I sat there personally celebrating a birthday that would catapult me straight into my mid-thirties, I felt nothing but contentment. I felt happy for them that they had each other. I was pleased that they were following Jesus the best they knew how. I felt a still small voice that said, "This is good, but you'll do it differently next time."
It was hours later before I noticed that the small voice told me I would be doing "this" (whatever "this" is) again. It got me thinking.
We were home for a few weeks when I confessed to Debbie that I felt like God was wanting me to be open to a fuller, perhaps even a "vocational", form of ministry. We chewed on that for a few days.
All of this is happening as my career is going well. I had signed with a new agent and my film project was growing into a bigger deal. It made no sense to have those thoughts then.
To back up a bit, in October of last year a church in Cincinnati (Vineyard Community Church) had contacted me to see if I might be open to vocational ministry again and I politely turned them down without much thought. I had promised them that if God changed our hearts we would let them know, but even as I told them that I knew God wouldn't be changing my heart. Well, he did. I e-mailed them in May to find out that some of the church leaders were actually in Anaheim that week for a conference. Since they were only a few miles from our house we agreed to meet one night. They had been busy not filling the position over the last seven months, but waiting for the "right person." Debbie and I were able to meet with some of their staff that week and we all agreed to keep praying about what God seemed to be doing.
The next four weeks were full of strange and mysterious events that included phone calls and e-mails from several friends around the world. We hadn't told anyone about this, but it was starting to feel like God was telling people to pray for us. Friends called saying they were waking in the middle of the night and praying for us, others were calling claiming to have seen visions of our family moving eastward and returning to church work. It was all so mysterious and confirming, but very hard to explain.
We visited the Vineyard about a month ago and it continued to feel right to us. Some of the theological issues that have become so foundational to me are very alive there - The primacy of the Kingdom, relational and organic growth, a desire for a church planting movement, experimentation within the gifts and, most obviously, a heart for the poor and hurting. They believe that "small things done with great love will change the world." That feels like something worth believing in. It was a good trip.
Last week they offered me the job of Teaching Pastor and we accepted. We will be leaving southern California in a few weeks to head back home to Ohio, which is something I never thought I would say or write or even think...it is all so unexpected. All this has done nothing but bolster my faith in a Living God and the mysterious work of the Holy Spirit.
We are grieving leaving our friends here and moving even farther away from our family in Las Vegas, but we are also excited about this next season. Leaving acting and Hollywood has not been as hard as I thought it would be. I will be able to finish my film project (Hitting the Nuts) from Ohio. I can also return to improv and acting as a hobby, which is something that I have missed living here. Much of the joy is taken out of art when it becomes a business. I'll also have opportunity to use much of what I have learned in film and video production in my new job.
If you are a Vegas friend, I have written a more detailed personal letter to Apex which will be read by Tommy at the next Gathering. It explains more of my process as it applies to our story there.
As always, I will continue to update you here as the journey continues. My family would like to thank all of our friends, all over the world, who have shared life with us to this point. We would not exchange our unpredicatable story for any other.
Peace to you all.
And then there is that third catergory. The few times, perhaps only a handful over the course of a lifetime, that so blindside you that you feel dizzy for a few years afterward. This is one of those times.
As I have noted in this journal, around April of this year something in my spirit began to change. (To explain this change I am going to have speak in terms of "God moving" or "speaking" to me. I do that rarely and cautiously. However, in these events I know of no other way to explain it.) I began to sense a call to openness along with a growing conviction that I was holding part of myself back from the Lordship of Christ. Debbie and I began to talk about what this could mean. It brought us into discussions about my career path and our overall spiritual journey.
On Easter Sunday we visited my mom and dad in Kansas City and attended their church. Nothing too out of the ordinary happened at the service, but I could feel myself reacting differently than I would have earlier in my life. In my early twenties I would have silently condemned this church for being a little "out of touch." In my late twenties I would have certainly condemned them for being overly structured and institutionalized. But as I sat there personally celebrating a birthday that would catapult me straight into my mid-thirties, I felt nothing but contentment. I felt happy for them that they had each other. I was pleased that they were following Jesus the best they knew how. I felt a still small voice that said, "This is good, but you'll do it differently next time."
It was hours later before I noticed that the small voice told me I would be doing "this" (whatever "this" is) again. It got me thinking.
We were home for a few weeks when I confessed to Debbie that I felt like God was wanting me to be open to a fuller, perhaps even a "vocational", form of ministry. We chewed on that for a few days.
All of this is happening as my career is going well. I had signed with a new agent and my film project was growing into a bigger deal. It made no sense to have those thoughts then.
To back up a bit, in October of last year a church in Cincinnati (Vineyard Community Church) had contacted me to see if I might be open to vocational ministry again and I politely turned them down without much thought. I had promised them that if God changed our hearts we would let them know, but even as I told them that I knew God wouldn't be changing my heart. Well, he did. I e-mailed them in May to find out that some of the church leaders were actually in Anaheim that week for a conference. Since they were only a few miles from our house we agreed to meet one night. They had been busy not filling the position over the last seven months, but waiting for the "right person." Debbie and I were able to meet with some of their staff that week and we all agreed to keep praying about what God seemed to be doing.
The next four weeks were full of strange and mysterious events that included phone calls and e-mails from several friends around the world. We hadn't told anyone about this, but it was starting to feel like God was telling people to pray for us. Friends called saying they were waking in the middle of the night and praying for us, others were calling claiming to have seen visions of our family moving eastward and returning to church work. It was all so mysterious and confirming, but very hard to explain.
We visited the Vineyard about a month ago and it continued to feel right to us. Some of the theological issues that have become so foundational to me are very alive there - The primacy of the Kingdom, relational and organic growth, a desire for a church planting movement, experimentation within the gifts and, most obviously, a heart for the poor and hurting. They believe that "small things done with great love will change the world." That feels like something worth believing in. It was a good trip.
Last week they offered me the job of Teaching Pastor and we accepted. We will be leaving southern California in a few weeks to head back home to Ohio, which is something I never thought I would say or write or even think...it is all so unexpected. All this has done nothing but bolster my faith in a Living God and the mysterious work of the Holy Spirit.
We are grieving leaving our friends here and moving even farther away from our family in Las Vegas, but we are also excited about this next season. Leaving acting and Hollywood has not been as hard as I thought it would be. I will be able to finish my film project (Hitting the Nuts) from Ohio. I can also return to improv and acting as a hobby, which is something that I have missed living here. Much of the joy is taken out of art when it becomes a business. I'll also have opportunity to use much of what I have learned in film and video production in my new job.
If you are a Vegas friend, I have written a more detailed personal letter to Apex which will be read by Tommy at the next Gathering. It explains more of my process as it applies to our story there.
As always, I will continue to update you here as the journey continues. My family would like to thank all of our friends, all over the world, who have shared life with us to this point. We would not exchange our unpredicatable story for any other.
Peace to you all.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Regarding My Non-Jewishness
I've gotten several e-mails (and a nice comment from Mo) regarding my thoughts below on feeling rather "left out" of most of the Bible as a Gentile (#7). I wanted to clarify my thoughts on this a bit, since it has gotten a little attention.
First, the list of ten initial thoughts after reading the entire Bible contained both feelings/impressions and more rational/logical ideas. This particular comment was primarily a feeling more than some theological breakthrough. As I read through the scriptures I felt somewhat like an outsider reading the faith story of another people. (Remember, I was trying to pretend like I didn't know what was coming.) After Jesus, and more clearly Peter and Paul, invited the Gentiles into the Kingdom, I began to feel like the OT was my story, but my story as an adopted, though very loved, son. I do feel like the entire Bible is for Gentiles as well now in light of that, but I do not think I would have easily reached that understanding without Acts, the letters of Paul and a few stories in the gospels.
I understand that there has been a recent (last few decades) missiological focus on God's concern for the non-Jewish peoples throughout the Old Testament. I have read several essays tracing this attribute of God, and I do not deny it. I would say, however, that it is somewhate encrypted and would be very hard to see without the NT breaktroughs mentioned earlier.
I also think that some people have read my ideas as suggesting that God is not missional in character. I still believe in a missional God and a missional people, but I feel that his primary missional focus was intended to be through the submission of Israel, which never really came about. The Abahamaic Blessing (all nations being blessed through him) has certainly now been realized, or is being realized, through The Kingdom of Jesus. Regardless of what could have been in the old covenant, the new covenent launches us all into a mission to see the forces of evil destroyed by the powers of love, forgiveness and submission to God in Christ.
First, the list of ten initial thoughts after reading the entire Bible contained both feelings/impressions and more rational/logical ideas. This particular comment was primarily a feeling more than some theological breakthrough. As I read through the scriptures I felt somewhat like an outsider reading the faith story of another people. (Remember, I was trying to pretend like I didn't know what was coming.) After Jesus, and more clearly Peter and Paul, invited the Gentiles into the Kingdom, I began to feel like the OT was my story, but my story as an adopted, though very loved, son. I do feel like the entire Bible is for Gentiles as well now in light of that, but I do not think I would have easily reached that understanding without Acts, the letters of Paul and a few stories in the gospels.
I understand that there has been a recent (last few decades) missiological focus on God's concern for the non-Jewish peoples throughout the Old Testament. I have read several essays tracing this attribute of God, and I do not deny it. I would say, however, that it is somewhate encrypted and would be very hard to see without the NT breaktroughs mentioned earlier.
I also think that some people have read my ideas as suggesting that God is not missional in character. I still believe in a missional God and a missional people, but I feel that his primary missional focus was intended to be through the submission of Israel, which never really came about. The Abahamaic Blessing (all nations being blessed through him) has certainly now been realized, or is being realized, through The Kingdom of Jesus. Regardless of what could have been in the old covenant, the new covenent launches us all into a mission to see the forces of evil destroyed by the powers of love, forgiveness and submission to God in Christ.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Journey's End
Wrapped the NT this morning. The whole immersion experience shaped me. I was suprisingly taken to Paul this time around. I feel kind of like Paul in some ways. I read the last half of Acts and most of Paul's epistles in the same day. It was good to do that. I recommend it if you struggle with the Pauline stuff. He really is a redeemed Pharisee in every sense of the word.
I was secretly hoping for a Revelation breakthrough with the other 65 books fresh in my mind, but nothing too profound hit me. It can still mean about ten different things depending on what you want it to mean. Maybe this is a good thing in some ways.
Without much pre-thought, here are my top ten stream of consciousness thoughts at the end of the journey:
1. I should do this every year. Next time during a sabbath and over a week when I can focus.
2. Yhwh does what he wants. That's what makes him Yhwh.
3. The main sin of humanity is idol worship. It was easier to define idol worship in antiquity than it is now. I should think on this more.
4. The "new covenant" is really a big deal. In some ways it is a total U-turn. I have a little more compassion for those who killed Jesus and see why he would say that they "know not what they do." Some of them thought they were really doing God's will.
5. The temple and the ark of the covenant bother me. Why did God want an earthly house and throne? It seems a little confusing and very religious. Maybe this is just some of my new covenant thinking trying to make sense of the old.
6. Jacob's name change to Israel - from "he deceives" to "he wrestles with God" is symbolic of every human being's journey from deceiver to wrestler and also symbolic of all of humanity's journey.
7. The Bible really has almost nothing to do with me (a Gentile) until the middle of Acts. We non-Jews were only invited in because God's chosen people seem to reject both the old and new covenant. This makes me feel very lucky and a little angry.
8. The NT has a few thru-lines going on at the same time through various eyewitness families. I am sure that theologians have names for these family lines, but I have never thought of them quite like this. The Lukan/Pauline line traces the gospel from Luke-Acts-the letters of Paul. The Johannine line from John - epistles of John - Revelation and the Petrine line from Mark - the epistles of Peter. I suppose a fourth Hebrew/Jewish line could be drawn through Matthew - Hebrews - James - Jude. In other words I got the feeling that these are three or four seperate contextualizations of the gospel in the first century that co-existed but had some differences. If you are smarter than me let me know if I am on the right track here.
9. God's people should sin less. I am a big grace guy, but I found in Jesus and all of the rest of the NT a very distinct call to holiness (seperateness). There was a general expectation to no longer be mastered by sin. I need to reflect more on this as well.
10. Holy Spirit. It is abundantly clear in Acts and most of Paul that the Holy Spirit is real, available and in control of the church. The new covenant only works in the presense of the divine. Jesus' message of Kingdom (God reigning now and to come) only works if God is truly present. When Jesus left he sent the Spirit to direct Kingdom affairs. It seems like many of us are trying to have the Kingdom without the Spirit. I'm not sure that is possible.
I could go up to 100 if I had time and thought you would keep reading. Like I said, it was a good exercise. I have read the Bible most every week of my life to prepare a lesson or for some sort of personal growth, but I have never powered through it like this. If I have inspired any of you to do the same, please share you thoughts as well.
Peace.
I was secretly hoping for a Revelation breakthrough with the other 65 books fresh in my mind, but nothing too profound hit me. It can still mean about ten different things depending on what you want it to mean. Maybe this is a good thing in some ways.
Without much pre-thought, here are my top ten stream of consciousness thoughts at the end of the journey:
1. I should do this every year. Next time during a sabbath and over a week when I can focus.
2. Yhwh does what he wants. That's what makes him Yhwh.
3. The main sin of humanity is idol worship. It was easier to define idol worship in antiquity than it is now. I should think on this more.
4. The "new covenant" is really a big deal. In some ways it is a total U-turn. I have a little more compassion for those who killed Jesus and see why he would say that they "know not what they do." Some of them thought they were really doing God's will.
5. The temple and the ark of the covenant bother me. Why did God want an earthly house and throne? It seems a little confusing and very religious. Maybe this is just some of my new covenant thinking trying to make sense of the old.
6. Jacob's name change to Israel - from "he deceives" to "he wrestles with God" is symbolic of every human being's journey from deceiver to wrestler and also symbolic of all of humanity's journey.
7. The Bible really has almost nothing to do with me (a Gentile) until the middle of Acts. We non-Jews were only invited in because God's chosen people seem to reject both the old and new covenant. This makes me feel very lucky and a little angry.
8. The NT has a few thru-lines going on at the same time through various eyewitness families. I am sure that theologians have names for these family lines, but I have never thought of them quite like this. The Lukan/Pauline line traces the gospel from Luke-Acts-the letters of Paul. The Johannine line from John - epistles of John - Revelation and the Petrine line from Mark - the epistles of Peter. I suppose a fourth Hebrew/Jewish line could be drawn through Matthew - Hebrews - James - Jude. In other words I got the feeling that these are three or four seperate contextualizations of the gospel in the first century that co-existed but had some differences. If you are smarter than me let me know if I am on the right track here.
9. God's people should sin less. I am a big grace guy, but I found in Jesus and all of the rest of the NT a very distinct call to holiness (seperateness). There was a general expectation to no longer be mastered by sin. I need to reflect more on this as well.
10. Holy Spirit. It is abundantly clear in Acts and most of Paul that the Holy Spirit is real, available and in control of the church. The new covenant only works in the presense of the divine. Jesus' message of Kingdom (God reigning now and to come) only works if God is truly present. When Jesus left he sent the Spirit to direct Kingdom affairs. It seems like many of us are trying to have the Kingdom without the Spirit. I'm not sure that is possible.
I could go up to 100 if I had time and thought you would keep reading. Like I said, it was a good exercise. I have read the Bible most every week of my life to prepare a lesson or for some sort of personal growth, but I have never powered through it like this. If I have inspired any of you to do the same, please share you thoughts as well.
Peace.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Day 19 of 10
I finished the OT early this morning on my ten day reading plan that should actually come in at around 25 days. I fell asleep reading Hosea last night and had some very odd dreams. I can't really remember the details, but they were in a series and I felt half-awake during them. I was paralyzed and God was telling me words to say but I couldn't remember them fast enough to write them down. I figure if it really was God, he'll give me another chance tonight and if it wasn't, I should just not read freaky prophetic passages at bedtime.
Happy 4th...
Happy 4th...
I made it a year this time!
Those of you who have had nothing better to do than read my blog for the last two years will know that I have been known to lose a certain special item from time to time. We went to the beach today with the kids. Deb took a vacation day and it was a great time. But...we came home without my Blackberry. I am guessing that it is either floating in the Pacific Ocean or going home with a foreign tourist.
The good news is that I did get phone insurance last year! I will be without a phone for a few days, so if you need me just e-mail. We don't have a land line, which is only a problem during my annual cell phone replacement week.
The good news is that I did get phone insurance last year! I will be without a phone for a few days, so if you need me just e-mail. We don't have a land line, which is only a problem during my annual cell phone replacement week.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Actor Joe - An Update
I have gotten five callbacks from my last six auditions. Generally they have narrowed it down to 5-20 people by that point. Here's the thing though - I have missed ALL FIVE callbacks. I missed one because I was filming something in San Diego, another because I was working on my film project in Las Vegas and another while traveling. Earlier this week I was out of town and missed one on Monday and another on Tuesday, which I thought I would get to, but my flight was delayed 36 hours from Ohio.
My new agent has to think that I am this strangely talented flake. (Meaning the only thing stranger than 5 out of 6 callbacks is not being available for them when they come around.) The hardest thing about being a professional actor is that 95% of us have to do something else to survive, but everyone we work with wants us to be available at any moment. It creates a constant psychological unease that is hard to explain.
My film project (Hitting the Nuts) continues to progress and is bigger than anyone thought it would be. This is good on all counts, except that things are moving more slowly than when it was a smaller project. We are taking our time to find the right cast, etc. It will happen, but we aren't sure when it will shoot. Like most of my life, it is up in the air waiting to land...
This week I have thought constantly of Henri Nouwen's idea that the opposite of faith is fear. With so much uncertainly in my life, I am tempted to settle into a fearful place, but faitfulness compels me to desire courage and patience.
My new agent has to think that I am this strangely talented flake. (Meaning the only thing stranger than 5 out of 6 callbacks is not being available for them when they come around.) The hardest thing about being a professional actor is that 95% of us have to do something else to survive, but everyone we work with wants us to be available at any moment. It creates a constant psychological unease that is hard to explain.
My film project (Hitting the Nuts) continues to progress and is bigger than anyone thought it would be. This is good on all counts, except that things are moving more slowly than when it was a smaller project. We are taking our time to find the right cast, etc. It will happen, but we aren't sure when it will shoot. Like most of my life, it is up in the air waiting to land...
This week I have thought constantly of Henri Nouwen's idea that the opposite of faith is fear. With so much uncertainly in my life, I am tempted to settle into a fearful place, but faitfulness compels me to desire courage and patience.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Ten days may have been a little aggressive
Some people have been asking about my reading experiment mentioned in the last blog. At the official end of the ten days I was wrapping up Isaiah. I made it through around 1,100 of a little less than 2,000 pages in the Bible I have been using. At this rate I should finish up in a week or so. The whole point was to immerse myself in the story and I was able to accomplish that. I found myself talking to people about Asherah Poles and the Year of Jubilee out of nowhere - to their great excitement I am sure. It has certainly saturated my mind in a different way than more "realistic" reading plans have done for me in the past.
I have hundreds of fragmented thoughts that only grow as I start to slug through the major prophets. I must say that the closer I get to Matthew, the more it feels like a kid waiting for Christmas Day to arrive. I can't wait to meet Jesus on the back end of this journey. That is what sustains me when Isaiah starts repeating himself or I read the endless proverbs about how prosititutes are a waste of money.
So yeah, I just realized that I am kind of waiting for Christmas Day, huh? The first one.
I have hundreds of fragmented thoughts that only grow as I start to slug through the major prophets. I must say that the closer I get to Matthew, the more it feels like a kid waiting for Christmas Day to arrive. I can't wait to meet Jesus on the back end of this journey. That is what sustains me when Isaiah starts repeating himself or I read the endless proverbs about how prosititutes are a waste of money.
So yeah, I just realized that I am kind of waiting for Christmas Day, huh? The first one.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Immersion
The best things of life are really only learned through immersion. Drowning in something is always the best way to learn about it - assuming, you know, that you don't actually die in the process. For example, I had four years of Spanish classes in high school and another year in college. The problem is that I still can't really speak Spanish. I normally can't understand it either when someone speaks to me. I can sort of read it - I can usually understand two of every three words and put the rest together like a puzzle.
If I really wanted to learn Spanish there is only one guarenteed way - to move to Mexico or another Spanish speaking nation and actually live there. I'm sure my Spanish would improve exponentially as I tried to swim (stay alive, not drown) in a new culture.
Five days ago I decided that I would immerse myself in the Bible in a new way. I decided to plow through at a somewhat reckless speed to see what I felt like on the other end. I don't think this is the best way to study it, nor do I think it is the best way to meditate on it. However, it may be the best way to drown in it. I set a goal of ten days to finish. I have certainly read other books of that length in ten days, so I am not sure why it feels so difficult. Today is day five and I have just finished 1 Samuel. (I'm behind schedule, but I do have a four hour flight scheduled on day ten, which is my Ace in the hole.) I have to say that from Adam to Saul the story is really bloody, often harsh and filled with strange supersticious activities. It is exceedingly clear that Yhwh does whatever he wants, to whomever he wants, for whatever reason he wants. He kills a lot of people and everytime he does, I recoil from him. His people cannot seem to ever be faithful to him regardless of what he does and that bothers me too. The heroes are, for the most part, a little prickly and severly flawed. It is without doubt the story of a god who claims to be The God and his people, a homeless nation called Israel. I find it interesting that The God seems to care a whole lot more about menstration, poop and fungus than other things. He doesn't seem to be overly concerned at all with monogamy, for instance. I told my wife this and she stared at me like she tends to do when I get like this. He does seem to care a lot for displaced foreigners, barren women and oppressed people.
Today I came upon David and he feels a little different than the others. He seems to be experimenting with grace, particularly toward some of his enemies which has gotten me all excited and ready to be a pacifist again. He also seems to be trying to love Yhwh instead of just trying to obey him. I find that interesting as well.
I'll shoot you an update in a few days somewhere in the Psalms or Prophets. It is strange that I know exactly what is ahead of me, but I have been ruthless with myself in reading the text as if for the first time with new eyes to see the story in a new way. Here's hoping for some great new revelation in five and a half days...if not, maybe just the joy of having drowned in a collection of 66 unique ancient texts and being able to live to tell about it.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Happy 8th Birthday, Eli!
A Blessing on Your Birthday:
May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Improvisation as Spiritual Reality
I am an improviser. This is my primary identity as an artist. I am an improviser before I am an actor, writer, director or producer. I believe in the rules of improv:
1. "Yes/And" - Always agree to what your partner says and add something to the story.
2. Listening is more important than talking.
3. Be Selfless.
4. Find the game...and play it.
5. Help your partner.
I believe in improv as an artform because I also believe the above rules work amazingly well in every area of life. I think they are spiritual.
I just finished reading a little book by Mark Batterson called In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. At one point he claims that improvisation is foundational to a life of faith. In essense, that faith teaches us to improvise through life more than giving us the "script" for a perfect existense.
I had another thought today in that regard. We took the kids down to Newport Beach after dinner and spent an hour or so walking around. I was captivated by the birds (sea gulls?) that hover above the ocean and then dive nose first at full speed into the water to catch a fish. I had this thought that "that's what they do." I thought of other animals and how all animals do something special and beautiful like that. I quickly found myself thinking about what an outsider would look at the human animal and say "that's what they do." (This is all going on in my head as my kids are throwing sand at each other and annoying tourists...) I looked around and watched us - all of us humans. We were surfing, sun bathing, fishing, running, selling and buying. I saw the residue that we leave behind - beach houses, pizza shops, volleyball nets, boardwalks, hotels, parking lots, etc. It occured to me that we, the human animal, improvise. It's simply what we do. We take all of the things that the birds ignore while they finish their scripted lives and we do something else with them. We turn trees into piers, cotton plants into string bikinis, cacti and limes into margaritas, stones into sidewalks and metal into massive moving motor vehicles. We don't adapt to our environment so much as we adapt our enironment. We create. We improvise. Why? Because that's just what we do. But why is that what we do?
Because...In the beginning God improvised....and then he grabbed a chunk of dirt and improvised something in his own image. He created a community of improvisers and said YES, AND be fruitful and multiply.
1. "Yes/And" - Always agree to what your partner says and add something to the story.
2. Listening is more important than talking.
3. Be Selfless.
4. Find the game...and play it.
5. Help your partner.
I believe in improv as an artform because I also believe the above rules work amazingly well in every area of life. I think they are spiritual.
I just finished reading a little book by Mark Batterson called In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. At one point he claims that improvisation is foundational to a life of faith. In essense, that faith teaches us to improvise through life more than giving us the "script" for a perfect existense.
I had another thought today in that regard. We took the kids down to Newport Beach after dinner and spent an hour or so walking around. I was captivated by the birds (sea gulls?) that hover above the ocean and then dive nose first at full speed into the water to catch a fish. I had this thought that "that's what they do." I thought of other animals and how all animals do something special and beautiful like that. I quickly found myself thinking about what an outsider would look at the human animal and say "that's what they do." (This is all going on in my head as my kids are throwing sand at each other and annoying tourists...) I looked around and watched us - all of us humans. We were surfing, sun bathing, fishing, running, selling and buying. I saw the residue that we leave behind - beach houses, pizza shops, volleyball nets, boardwalks, hotels, parking lots, etc. It occured to me that we, the human animal, improvise. It's simply what we do. We take all of the things that the birds ignore while they finish their scripted lives and we do something else with them. We turn trees into piers, cotton plants into string bikinis, cacti and limes into margaritas, stones into sidewalks and metal into massive moving motor vehicles. We don't adapt to our environment so much as we adapt our enironment. We create. We improvise. Why? Because that's just what we do. But why is that what we do?
Because...In the beginning God improvised....and then he grabbed a chunk of dirt and improvised something in his own image. He created a community of improvisers and said YES, AND be fruitful and multiply.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Rich Mullins meets Youtube
A few months from now will be the tenth anniversary of the death of a friend. When we knew each other I was a teenageer and he was about the age I am now. I can't say that we were great friends but he always remembered my name and the names of my friends. He would spend a few weeks every year with my group of friends and we would just hang out, ski, and sing together. I believe that he subconsciously influenced what I believe about God more than any other teacher of my youth. I stumbled upon all of the same authors that influenced him shortly after his death. I would doubt that one week of my life has gone by without listening to his music. It is my heart music. Deb used to make fun of me for listening to his early eighties albums because they are full of cheezy organs and are rather poorly produced. They haven't held up so well, but the lyrics generally have.
Rich Mullins was the first Rebel Pilgrim that I ever met. He had issues, but he had perspective. He loved the poor and he loved being with us kids more than the adults. He gave most of his money away and wasn't afraid to let God change his views. He smelled like incense and rarely bathed. I miss him and my biggest regret is that he died before I could have one last talk with him to let him know that I finally understand what he was always trying to teach me.
I found Rich on youtube tonight. You can look him up there too. It was emotional to see him again and a little odd to see how similar I have become to him as a teacher. Here's ten minutes of vintage Rich for you. He speaking to a group of evangelical Christians in Texas. It's fun to watch him masterfully critique them while they laugh as if he is kidding. Enjoy...
Rich Mullins was the first Rebel Pilgrim that I ever met. He had issues, but he had perspective. He loved the poor and he loved being with us kids more than the adults. He gave most of his money away and wasn't afraid to let God change his views. He smelled like incense and rarely bathed. I miss him and my biggest regret is that he died before I could have one last talk with him to let him know that I finally understand what he was always trying to teach me.
I found Rich on youtube tonight. You can look him up there too. It was emotional to see him again and a little odd to see how similar I have become to him as a teacher. Here's ten minutes of vintage Rich for you. He speaking to a group of evangelical Christians in Texas. It's fun to watch him masterfully critique them while they laugh as if he is kidding. Enjoy...
Saturday, June 02, 2007
So, It's June...
I started a new Lifelines series going through the book of James tonight. I think I made it through about five verses in 45 minutes, so we may be there for a while. I have come to enjoy teaching more of late. It has been a constant in my life through the years regardless of whatever else I may be doing.
It has certainly been the slowest season yet as an actor. I haven't had an audition for a few weeks. I haven't gotten out yet with my new agent, but TV has shut down for the summer and things tend to slow down. I'm not really discouraged about it, but it is obviously slower. Things with my own project continue to grow and morph. It ebbs and flows on a daily basis. By all accounts it is in a good place, however uncertain at the moment.
The kids have less than three weeks of school and then summer will be upon us. I am happy for them, though it makes our day to day schedules much more unpredictable when they are home. Eli turns eight in two weeks, which is insane. I made the biggest decision of my life when I was eight and it formed me into who I am today...it will be fun to see what this year holds for him.
It has certainly been the slowest season yet as an actor. I haven't had an audition for a few weeks. I haven't gotten out yet with my new agent, but TV has shut down for the summer and things tend to slow down. I'm not really discouraged about it, but it is obviously slower. Things with my own project continue to grow and morph. It ebbs and flows on a daily basis. By all accounts it is in a good place, however uncertain at the moment.
The kids have less than three weeks of school and then summer will be upon us. I am happy for them, though it makes our day to day schedules much more unpredictable when they are home. Eli turns eight in two weeks, which is insane. I made the biggest decision of my life when I was eight and it formed me into who I am today...it will be fun to see what this year holds for him.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
My Wife is Hot
Here's a picture exposing our true selves...thought you would enjoy. I know that Debbie will love that it is posted on the world wide web.
It looks like we have some positive movement on the film I'm producing...I can't share anything publically yet, but hope to be able to next week.
I enjoyed teaching at The Crossing last weekend and you can listen to it via podcast on their website at www.thecrossing.com.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
An Agent, A Legacy, A Season and A Theology Book
I'm signing with a new agency tomorrow: Susan Nathe and Associates. I've been agent-less for about two months since leaving the old place. I'll be interested to see how much I start getting out again. I've gotten used to my current pace of life without as many auditions. It is my job, though - so, back at it!
I'm teaching at the weekend services this weekend at The Crossing. It's hard to believe it has been about a year since the last time. The topic centers around life and death - and the idea of "legacy." I'm very much looking forward to it.
T-ball wraps up this week for Aidan. It has been a good experience for him. I think some of his grandpa's athletic ability skipped a generation and found him. Having said that, it will be nice to have our Saturdays return to their regular lazy form. I like packing my days off with a whole lot of nothing whenever possible.
Still sensing a divine call to openness. Still re-reading some books that impacted me in my twenties. Today I re-read The Spirit of the Disciplines by Dallas Willard. I mark up books as I read them, so it has been fun to see the parts that impacted me six years ago vs. what caught my eye today. I dig Willard's soteriology and I hope he understands it correctly because I have pretty much adopted it as my own. Basically, that we are being saved everyday from ourselves and our world...
I'm teaching at the weekend services this weekend at The Crossing. It's hard to believe it has been about a year since the last time. The topic centers around life and death - and the idea of "legacy." I'm very much looking forward to it.
T-ball wraps up this week for Aidan. It has been a good experience for him. I think some of his grandpa's athletic ability skipped a generation and found him. Having said that, it will be nice to have our Saturdays return to their regular lazy form. I like packing my days off with a whole lot of nothing whenever possible.
Still sensing a divine call to openness. Still re-reading some books that impacted me in my twenties. Today I re-read The Spirit of the Disciplines by Dallas Willard. I mark up books as I read them, so it has been fun to see the parts that impacted me six years ago vs. what caught my eye today. I dig Willard's soteriology and I hope he understands it correctly because I have pretty much adopted it as my own. Basically, that we are being saved everyday from ourselves and our world...
Friday, May 11, 2007
Old Friends
This month has been full of old friends. It's strange how there are seasons when the friends of your past all show up at once. We were especially surpised to hear from Kevin Rains and Dave Nixon from Vineyard Central in Cincinnati. It had been several years since we were together. Kevin and I did some traveling together a while back and Dave came to speak at Apex several years ago. Their church/urban monastery in Norwood has been a spiritual oasis for me for almost a decade. I used to escape there once a year to seek solitude and a change of pace. We are due for a visit.
I've also heard from several other friends and mentors from all over the world. It seems like God is placing our story on people's hearts...not exactly sure why, but it feels nice to be remembered.
My work life continues to plod along - making progress everyday. We made offers to several actors this week for "Nuts." We have to just wait and see now. I've booked Monday and it will be nice to work in front of camera again - feels like it has been a while. As always, shall keep you all updated...
I've also heard from several other friends and mentors from all over the world. It seems like God is placing our story on people's hearts...not exactly sure why, but it feels nice to be remembered.
My work life continues to plod along - making progress everyday. We made offers to several actors this week for "Nuts." We have to just wait and see now. I've booked Monday and it will be nice to work in front of camera again - feels like it has been a while. As always, shall keep you all updated...
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Being Open
About six weeks ago I fell into a state of openness. I can think of no other word but that to describe it. I awake every morning with a willingness to take each day as it comes and an expectation that God is about to do something. It has been a very healthy and peaceful journey. It started the week before Easter, for no clear reason. It has brought me back to many of the things that shaped me over the last decade - Authors like Henri Nouwen, Brennan Manning and Jean Vanier; mentoring relationships that I let grow dorment; and above all, a simplicity of prayer/spirituality that I have been missing for maybe half a decade.
Things move forward in my life. The weeks pass faster in my thirties than they did in my twenties. My days are full of phone calls regarding the film I am making and my evenings are full of T-ball games, teaching Eli multiplication and an occasional Tivo guilty pleasure. (I'm part of the 50% that hasn't given up on LOST yet...and I correctly picked the American Idol Final Four about 8 weeks ago, though I have no written proof.)
I've booked a few industrial videos down here in Orange County, so it has been nice to work close to home. I have a gig for Toastmasters coming up next week. Hitting the Nuts (my movie) keeps wanting to grow in scope. Making a movie is a long, tedious process, but it has been a very good thing or me to tackle at this point in my life. It will be worth it when we are shooting - hopefully later this summer.
Looking forward to seeing what the coming days hold...trying to stay open.
Things move forward in my life. The weeks pass faster in my thirties than they did in my twenties. My days are full of phone calls regarding the film I am making and my evenings are full of T-ball games, teaching Eli multiplication and an occasional Tivo guilty pleasure. (I'm part of the 50% that hasn't given up on LOST yet...and I correctly picked the American Idol Final Four about 8 weeks ago, though I have no written proof.)
I've booked a few industrial videos down here in Orange County, so it has been nice to work close to home. I have a gig for Toastmasters coming up next week. Hitting the Nuts (my movie) keeps wanting to grow in scope. Making a movie is a long, tedious process, but it has been a very good thing or me to tackle at this point in my life. It will be worth it when we are shooting - hopefully later this summer.
Looking forward to seeing what the coming days hold...trying to stay open.
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